Для системного администратора

Не мог пройти мимо :) На английском, под катом субтитры, да и без них понятно

1
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Come on you little bitches, let’s go.

2
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That’s right, oh, snap…

3
00:00:14,810 –> 00:00:16,510
Oh, not now.

4
00:00:16,730 –> 00:00:18,940
Oh you so suck…

5
00:00:19,100 –> 00:00:22,660
Oh come on, oh…

6
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Fuck!

7
00:00:24,880 –> 00:00:25,730
Hello?

8
00:00:25,820 –> 00:00:27,900
Web dude this is Chip at sales, what’s up man?

9
00:00:28,000 –> 00:00:31,160
Nothing, I’m working. What’s umm, what’s going on?

10
00:00:31,410 –> 00:00:33,880
Hey, you uh, you here in building 3?

11
00:00:33,970 –> 00:00:35,500
Yeah, I’m in building three.

12
00:00:35,650 –> 00:00:38,160
Well why do I have to call an outside number to get to your desk?

13
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Wuh…

14
00:00:39,080 –> 00:00:41,570
Look, I don’t want to get into an IP telephony conversation with you right now…

15
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You pee telephony? Ha, I pee urine.

16
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[unintelligible conversation with Nancy in the background - then laughter]

17
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That’s a… That’s a good one.

18
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All right, so look dude, we’ve got problems. The website’s down.

19
00:00:52,670 –> 00:00:53,830
I’m sorry, what?

20
00:00:54,030 –> 00:00:57,430
The website is down. Blackhole, I can’t get to the thing.

21
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Fuck!

22
00:00:58,250 –> 00:00:58,990
Yeah…

23
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Hold on…

24
00:01:04,670 –> 00:01:06,560
Well it looks like it’s up to me.

25
00:01:06,870 –> 00:01:09,770
Well… I rebooted my PC and it’s still that way.

26
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How many times did you reboot?

27
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Three man, you always tell me to do three.

28
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Well, umm, all right. It’s up, I mean I can check to see if Apache is running.

29
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Apache is running… oops…

30
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I don’t know what this Apache is but uh…

31
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Either way, I’m still not able to get what I need.

32
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Oh, I can telnet into the port, you can get HTML, like it’s running.

33
00:01:30,750 –> 00:01:32,850
OK well, I’m, I’m still not able to get what I’m looking for.

34
00:01:32,890 –> 00:01:35,370
Uh, Nancy said that you, you guys rebooted it last time.

35
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I don’t know, I mean..

36
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Do you want me to reboot the web server even though it’s running?

37
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I’m just saying that’s what Nancy said you guys did last time. OK?

38
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Well, I, I can reboot it now.

39
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It doesn’t make any sense to reboot something that’s running.

40
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Ok, well, I’m just I’m saying what Nancy said, that you guys,

41
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you know, you guys rebooted it last time.

42
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Umm…

43
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You know I’m not, you know, I’m not saying anything about you guys.

44
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- I mean I don’t know.
- Sure, why not, let’s reboot it… I mean…

45
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- I don’t know this IT stuff.
- I mean it’s just fun to reboot a web server.

46
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I mean that’ll take fifteen minutes, so, you know, I can get back to… what I was doing.

47
00:02:04,720 –> 00:02:06,510
Uh, wait, wait, something just happened.

48
00:02:06,580 –> 00:02:09,490
Uh, I, I can’t get to the home page.

49
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What do you mean you can’t get to the home page? I just took it down.

50
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I, I just, I just tried to get to the home page and I can’t get to it.

51
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You could get to the home page before?

52
00:02:14,800 –> 00:02:16,550
Yeah, I was getting to the home page and now I can’t get to the home page.

53
00:02:16,600 –> 00:02:18,710
You told me that the website was down.

54
00:02:19,330 –> 00:02:21,600
Ah, Fuck. So the website wasn’t down.

55
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Uh, well, well maybe that’s not what I meant, OK, uh?

56
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The website’s down now.

57
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wuh, wuh, whatever it’s called, the world wide web, the..

58
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The Internet?

59
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It’s slow, everything is so slow.

60
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You don’t know the difference between the Internet and our website?

61
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Nancy is your, is your, is your web working?

62
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I told you, I’m working.

63
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I know, I know, I know. He rebooted the website.

64
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What?!

65
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- He rebooted it.
- What?!

66
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Hello?

67
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Uh, yeah this is Treavor.

68
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I work for the city of Arvada, population ten thousand,

69
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and I was looking at our website

70
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www dot arvada dot org backslash arvada harvest festival

71
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- And I…
- Yeah…

72
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I… I get this error message, page cannot be displayed.

73
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Well, it’s because the website’s down.

74
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Huh…?

75
00:02:58,320 –> 00:02:59,310
Oh my God.

76
00:02:59,470 –> 00:03:01,470
Look, the sales guys upstairs took down the website

77
00:03:01,470 –> 00:03:03,040
…so we’re waiting for it to come back up.

78
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- Who? And then I tried…
- Uh, this is Treavor.

79
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I tried arvada harvest festival backslash pumpkin patch and that wasn’t on there,

80
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and I tried harvest festival backslash bean bag race and nothing’s coming up

81
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and I LITERALLY have the mayor breathing down my neck right now

82
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so we need to get this back up uh, as soon as possible.

83
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Uh look, it should be back up by now, honestly.

84
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It’s called online, we gotta get this page online.

85
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Uh, uh all right [charro], well, let me, you know, can I call you when it’s back up?

86
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You know what, call me back at this number.

87
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Literally have the mayor breathing down my neck, arvada pumpkin patch dot org.

88
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OK.

89
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- Check.
- Huh?

90
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All right, I’ll see you later.

91
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OK

92
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It’s down because he rebooted it.

93
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- What an idiot.
- I don’t know why he rebooted it.

94
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Why do you… Um, so what, say that again?

95
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Listen, uh, what was your name again, Chip?

96
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Chip.

97
00:03:46,330 –> 00:03:46,980
Can you…

98
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- I didn’t…
- Can you hold on for a second?

99
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Hello?

100
00:03:51,110 –> 00:03:52,610
Did you take down the website?

101
00:03:52,650 –> 00:03:53,800
No!

102
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Well Nancy said you did.

103
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Oh, I mean yeah.

104
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Why the hell did you do that?

105
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Well the sales guys…

106
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Well, didn’t you get my email about not taking down the web server?

107
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Um, nn, no.

108
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Well, I sent it to you.

109
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Well…

110
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Hold on…

111
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‘Cause I don’t see it.

112
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Well, uh…

113
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This is weird, I don’t see it here. OK, well maybe I didn’t send it to you.

114
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Uh, yeah, ’cause seriously, you know, I didn’t get it.

115
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Well, the email said don’t take it down

116
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because it won’t come back up without being powered off.

117
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Oh, crap.

118
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Yeah, thanks a lot.

119
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Uh, I’m sorry. Fuck me, look…

120
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Chip?

121
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- Yeah.
- Look…

122
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Ok, the website’s not coming up now because you made me take it down in the wrong way.

123
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Uhh, OK?

124
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I’m gunna have to get Lazlo to power it off. Can you hold on a minute?

125
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All right.

126
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Fuckin’ Lazlo, come on.

127
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Hello Derrick you fucking idiot. What rack is this in?

128
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I’m sorry, what?

129
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What rack is the system in?

130
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It’s in rack 5.

131
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- Rack 5?
- Yes.

132
00:05:15,390 –> 00:05:16,600
- Rack 5?
- Rack 5.

133
00:05:16,670 –> 00:05:18,130
Yeah he told me that you took down the system.

134
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Yes, it was an accident.

135
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What did he tell me?

136
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Just reboot it.

137
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You need the system rebooted?

138
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Yes.

139
00:05:24,140 –> 00:05:24,740
Which one is it?

140
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It’s gray, it’s on the, it’s like third down.

141
00:05:26,850 –> 00:05:28,410
The one, the, the, they’re all gray.

142
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I know, it’s third down, you can see the gray on the bottom.

143
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You need which, it’s from the top or the bottom?

144
00:05:31,940 –> 00:05:32,620
From the top.

145
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You tell me.

146
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- It’s, Jesus…
- You tell me.

147
00:05:35,090 –> 00:05:36,420
- It’s gray…
- I, I can’t hear anything.

148
00:05:36,480 –> 00:05:38,840
I know, shut up! It’s gray on the bottom.

149
00:05:38,950 –> 00:05:40,890
- From the bottom?
- It’s gray on the bottom.

150
00:05:41,470 –> 00:05:42,990
- It’s on the bottom of the rack.
- On the top?

151
00:05:43,080 –> 00:05:44,260
- Yes!
- Oh.

152
00:05:44,300 –> 00:05:46,530
You just powered off the Exchange server.

153
00:05:46,610 –> 00:05:48,190
I’ll do the top one now.

154
00:05:48,220 –> 00:05:49,260
Oh my fucking God…

155
00:05:49,310 –> 00:05:51,640
OK, yeah I did both of them, so you should be good.

156
00:05:51,690 –> 00:05:52,850
- Oh!
- Uh, later.

157
00:05:53,000 –> 00:05:55,110
Thanks a lot!

158
00:06:10,870 –> 00:06:13,230
Uh, I don’t know, I guess he didn’t take it down right.

159
00:06:13,330 –> 00:06:14,380
- Chip.
- It’s a mayor…

160
00:06:14,460 –> 00:06:14,920
Hey.

161
00:06:14,960 –> 00:06:17,260
Well you managed to take the email system down as well.

162
00:06:17,360 –> 00:06:18,600
Really? The email server?

163
00:06:18,620 –> 00:06:20,800
Well it doesn’t have anything to do with the web serv…

164
00:06:20,890 –> 00:06:21,710
…he just shut off all our email.

165
00:06:21,770 –> 00:06:23,020
That’s what he tried to do last time.

166
00:06:23,100 –> 00:06:24,280
Uh, OK.

167
00:06:24,370 –> 00:06:26,030
Lazlo at the data center rebooted it

168
00:06:26,030 –> 00:06:27,620
when he was trying to fix the web server

169
00:06:27,670 –> 00:06:29,640
that you asked me to take down, so…

170
00:06:30,270 –> 00:06:31,650
How many times?

171
00:06:31,970 –> 00:06:33,260
How many times, what?

172
00:06:33,450 –> 00:06:34,950
How many times did he reboot it?

173
00:06:35,060 –> 00:06:36,080
Once.

174
00:06:36,160 –> 00:06:37,850
Well I think you need to try a few more times.

175
00:06:38,710 –> 00:06:41,010
Web dude, We’re having a quarterly sales call in 2 minutes.

176
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I need to get on the web site, or the Internet, or whatever.

177
00:06:43,580 –> 00:06:45,880
That’s why I called you in the first place. …

178
00:06:46,590 –> 00:06:48,890
What’s your asset tag, Chip?

179
00:06:49,040 –> 00:06:54,000
Uh, the asset tag is 287JPC and the number 2.

180
00:06:54,020 –> 00:06:55,550
Is that P as in Paul?

181
00:06:55,690 –> 00:06:57,520
That’s P as in Paul.

182
00:06:57,770 –> 00:06:58,760
Ok.

183
00:07:00,130 –> 00:07:02,480
Where do you get this, duh wuuw.

184
00:07:02,650 –> 00:07:04,040
Is this your desktop?

185
00:07:04,180 –> 00:07:05,950
Is the mouse moving?
Hello! My mouse just moved!

186
00:07:06,010 –> 00:07:06,830
OK, yeah..

187
00:07:06,910 –> 00:07:09,020
Do that again. Oh my God you’re moving my mouse!

188
00:07:09,100 –> 00:07:11,600
It’s Remote Desktop. What is your password?

189
00:07:11,780 –> 00:07:13,840
Ah, it just the letter ‘a’.

190
00:07:13,950 –> 00:07:15,540
Just the letter ‘a’. All right?

191
00:07:15,590 –> 00:07:18,330
Like apple. Are you looking at my desktop right now?

192
00:07:18,430 –> 00:07:20,650
Dude, how many programs do you have running?

193
00:07:21,250 –> 00:07:23,940
You, you’re totally overloading your box. That’s probably part of the reason.

194
00:07:24,010 –> 00:07:26,210
Well, I use all these programs. But you know I got a lot of work to do during the day.

195
00:07:26,290 –> 00:07:27,030
OK, can I close this?

196
00:07:27,100 –> 00:07:28,400
Woah! Woah! Hey! No-no-no!

197
00:07:28,420 –> 00:07:30,500
- You want to save it?
- No, no, I need to save this!

198
00:07:30,530 –> 00:07:31,780
- Chip?
- This is all my work!

199
00:07:31,840 –> 00:07:33,380
Look, you don’t need this stuff open.

200
00:07:33,400 –> 00:07:35,090
I’m… that’s some research that I’m doing. OK?

201
00:07:35,240 –> 00:07:36,270
You don’t, I mean all this needs taking…

202
00:07:36,270 –> 00:07:37,810
You can’t close all my windows! OK?

203
00:07:37,860 –> 00:07:38,470
Closing that…

204
00:07:38,520 –> 00:07:39,280
- Web dude, web dude…
- Chip?

205
00:07:39,280 –> 00:07:40,320
- You gotta slow down.
- AOL?

206
00:07:40,320 –> 00:07:42,700
Don’t use AOL! It’s dial up networking.

207
00:07:42,820 –> 00:07:44,510
Well how am I going get to the Internet without AOL?

208
00:07:44,590 –> 00:07:46,640
It, it, it’s broadband.

209
00:07:46,720 –> 00:07:48,620
But I got like 4000 hours for free.

210
00:07:48,750 –> 00:07:52,030
It’s… We have a corporate OC3, it costs like a thousand dollars a month

211
00:07:52,070 –> 00:07:53,680
so don’t use AOL. Woah…

212
00:07:53,710 –> 00:07:54,990
Can you carry over my hours?

213
00:07:55,040 –> 00:07:57,100
What, what is this? “FUK U!”

214
00:07:57,180 –> 00:07:58,250
It’s my desktop.

215
00:07:58,390 –> 00:08:01,640
Wuh, they’re icons, they spell FUK U! and there’s a picture of a penis.

216
00:08:01,750 –> 00:08:05,800
Uh, Patricia did that when I uh, took over her computer. She wasn’t very happy.

217
00:08:05,940 –> 00:08:08,540
Holy crap. How long’s it been like that?

218
00:08:08,870 –> 00:08:10,400
8 or 9 years

219
00:08:10,530 –> 00:08:11,760
Oh my God.

220
00:08:11,850 –> 00:08:14,080
You know, I just got so used to it I didn’t want to change it.

221
00:08:14,140 –> 00:08:16,630
That’s fuckin’ awesome, hold on. Fuckin’ hell.

222
00:08:16,790 –> 00:08:18,950
All right, I’m taking a picture of this, hold on just a sec.

223
00:08:18,990 –> 00:08:19,690
OK, so…

224
00:08:19,750 –> 00:08:20,550
I’m going to put this on Boing Boing.

225
00:08:20,650 –> 00:08:21,660
Seriously though, I’ve got a like a meeting in 5 minutes

226
00:08:21,700 –> 00:08:23,640
…so whatever we got to do to get, to get my PC back up.

227
00:08:24,070 –> 00:08:26,290
Uh, This is going right onto Boing Boing.

228
00:08:26,430 –> 00:08:27,630
Uh, What’s Boing Boing?

229
00:08:27,690 –> 00:08:29,740
Here’s the thing, this is a problem.

230
00:08:29,740 –> 00:08:32,910
You can’t have people lookin’ at this, Ok. Arrange your icons by name…

231
00:08:32,960 –> 00:08:35,100
Woah! What’d you do now? I can’t find anything!

232
00:08:35,210 –> 00:08:36,610
What do you mean? It’s alphabetical.

233
00:08:36,750 –> 00:08:40,030
Oh man, I, I had everything exactly where I know where it was.

234
00:08:40,110 –> 00:08:43,170
I knew that, th, that our website, our website was at the very tip of the penis.

235
00:08:44,380 –> 00:08:46,060
And now I don’t know where anything is.

236
00:08:46,060 –> 00:08:48,620
How am I, no it’s not that one, it’s not that one any more.

237
00:08:48,940 –> 00:08:49,690
Well, umm

238
00:08:49,760 –> 00:08:52,450
My Salesforce.com was on the right testicle.

239
00:08:52,510 –> 00:08:53,470
I’m not going to be able to find anything.

240
00:08:53,550 –> 00:08:54,960
I got, got a meeting in 2 minutes and I need…

241
00:08:54,960 –> 00:08:56,220
I need the icons back the way they were.

242
00:08:56,250 –> 00:08:57,160
Well I can’t go back.

243
00:08:57,190 –> 00:08:59,040
There’s no way to go back. You can’t arrange them by penis.

244
00:08:59,120 –> 00:09:02,130
Oh my God. I’ll tell ya, every time I call you tech support people,

245
00:09:02,170 –> 00:09:03,690
every fucking time, you guys,

246
00:09:03,700 –> 00:09:05,390
you guys do something entirely different, you know?

247
00:09:05,450 –> 00:09:07,260
You don’t fix the problem that I call about.

248
00:09:07,310 –> 00:09:09,360
You know, all I wanted was to get the website back.

249
00:09:09,420 –> 00:09:11,350
That’s all, That’s all I needed.

250
00:09:11,600 –> 00:09:14,730
Didn’t you say, you said took a picture of it. Restore it.

251
00:09:15,410 –> 00:09:16,850
Well…

252
00:09:17,000 –> 00:09:19,890
Yeah I guess, I mean I could just make that the background for your desktop.

253
00:09:20,490 –> 00:09:22,950
I don’t care what you have to do, whatever you gotta do to get this thing back.

254
00:09:22,990 –> 00:09:25,780
I’ll say it probably won’t, won’t solve the problem completely but..

255
00:09:25,880 –> 00:09:28,740
Well, with the icons in the same spot, I’ll be able to get to them.

256
00:09:30,010 –> 00:09:31,550
All right, so this is worse.

257
00:09:33,390 –> 00:09:33,910
Oh, wait..

258
00:09:33,950 –> 00:09:35,520
I mean it’s just a picture of a desktop.

259
00:09:35,550 –> 00:09:37,000
OK, it’s perfect, it’s perfect.

260
00:09:37,000 –> 00:09:40,140
Hey, I gotta get into my meeting, so, you know I, I, this is great.

261
00:09:40,190 –> 00:09:41,260
You, you good with it? ’cause…

262
00:09:41,320 –> 00:09:43,260
No, no, this, this is fine, I can find everything.

263
00:09:43,260 –> 00:09:44,550
I can find everything, it’s fine.

264
00:09:44,650 –> 00:09:45,230
OK.

265
00:09:45,290 –> 00:09:46,620
All right so, I gotta go to the meeting. Uh…

266
00:09:46,620 –> 00:09:48,190
You know thanks a lot web dude, I’m outta here.

267
00:09:48,190 –> 00:09:49,940
- OK, bye.
- Bye bye.

268
00:09:50,980 –> 00:09:53,580
Jesus, what a fuckin’ day.

269
00:09:53,680 –> 00:09:56,920
Transcript by Anonymous.
Subtitles by Joric.